Gossiping is something we all do from time to time. It is hard, not getting involved in, because it is part of peer pressure. One person starts to talk about something they noticed or are annoyed about and for some reason it is easy to get involved into the conversation.
Most of the time while gossiping you don’t even realise you do so, only later you realised that you were talking bad things about someone else. In the moment it seems fun, talking with your friends, having a laugh and feeling like you are part of a group. However, gossiping is such a toxic behavior, the only thing you do is spread more hate and negative energy into the world. Why not spread love and positivity?
So here are some ways to deal with gossiping, things that I have learned over the years.
Tell The Person
There are so many different things people gossip about, looks, behavior, things that happened, etc. Most of the times gossiping is about silly things like the clothing a person is wearing. However, sometimes it is about more serious things (like someone who is only spreading negativity). The person might not even be aware of his own behavior, so when talking about his back nothing is going to change.
Of course, you should go up to them and tell them they are only spreading negativity. However, in the moment when this person is spreading negativity you can give them some sort of positive inside in what is happening. Instead of saying: ‘You are only able to say negative stuff, isn’t it?’ you can say ‘Well you can also see the positive side of it. I think it is great that the wi-fi isn’t working, we can play a game or go for a walk in nature!’ This way the person might see that he is in a negative mindset a lot and you can help him to create a more positive life. Of course this doesn’t work for everyone, so sometimes you might have to be a bit more direct. Talk with him about the situation and see what they can learn about it.
Apologize and Feel Better
I have found myself a few times gossiping with other people, but only later I realised that I was doing it. Afterwards I accept the fact that it happened and I take the opportunity to make something positive out of this negative situation.
What I have done the lasts few months, is that after I have been gossiping about someone I take a moment to realise that I was wrong. I tell the person that I was gossiping with, that the way that I reacted wasn’t right. That I felt this urge to be a part of a group and that it caused me to say things that I didn’t mean.
Opening up about it makes you feel so much better, because you have apologized for what you said and you let other people know that you have made a mistake but you learned from it. What is even better is that you set a great example for the rest of the group. They probably gossiped for the same reason that you did, not to hurt the person but to feel a bound with people. Now that you have shown them how you deal with gossiping, you might have inspired them to deal with gossiping differently too. They might never really looked at the situation in this way, so it is good to show them that things can change.
Apologizing for what you did creates such a relief and I think that it is a great way to let go of guilt. Everyone makes mistakes like this, but it is good to become aware of that. When you become more aware of your actions, it is so much easier to catch yourself in the moment.
I would love to know your opinion on this topic. You can always send me a message or write a comment underneath this post.