If you are like me, you are a big fan of reflecting, planning and discovering new ways to deal with different situations. However, the last few days I realised that this year I have been watching so many YouTube videos, read so many articles about making a change, but did things change? No!
This got me thinking. How is it possible that I am so into self-development, that I am learning about so many different ways to approach things, but that nothing is changing?
Well, I realised that I am spending so much time planning and discovering new things, but not actually acting on those things. I want to do so many things at the same time, but because I expect so much of myself, I always fail. I also feel that by reading so many self-development books, articles and watch video’s I don’t even really stick to things because I read so many different ways that I just don’t know where to start. I feel like I tried everything, when really I read everything, but never put those things really into practise.
When I started my health journey, I made progress really quickly, why? Because I learned new things along the way and I was super motivated to work on one goal. I started by quitting junk food, later I realised that whole foods were the way to go and later veganism became a very important thing to me. Because I was constantly focusing on one thing and learning things through the process, it was way easier for me to adapt. Getting healthier by eating healthy food and exercising was my main goal back then.
Nowadays there are so many things I want to do: meditation, increase my exercise, go back to having those really heathy eating habits, get into yoga, singing, improve myself as a person, having a good morning and night routine and many more things. I am spending so much time planning, expecting and writing down goals that I don’t even do those things. When I fail the plan I made, I feel like the plan isn’t clear or good enough so I make a new plan (like every single day). In the time that I was making the plan or searching for an answer to my problem, I could have acted on a goal and make a little bit of progress.
Lately I have been feeling down and not motivated to do anything. I always say: ‘I will start tomorrow, which is so not something that I used to say. But of course I don’t want to do anything at all, because if it doesn’t meet my expectations I get super disappointed. If you have an entire plan of how things should be and there is something that didn’t turn out the way you want, you start to see that as a fail and don’t see the things you did accomplish. So why would I get excited and motivated if there is no feeling of accomplishment, happiness or a reward.
I think that this is what made me so motivated and succesful when I started my health journey. I went from being very unhappy and sluggish to feeling energetic, mindful and free on a healthy lifestyle. I felt a change very quickly and that became my reward and motivation. But now I can only look at how I used to be and if my behaviour isn’t like that I blame myself for not being strong enough. I expect my routine, life and behaviour to change overnight, which just isn’t achievable. These last few months I have developed bad habits that I really want to break, but saying: ‘Tomorrow I will start again and everything will be perfect’, is just a guarantee to fail.
I think that it is important to start creating gratitude and being proud of what I have accomplished. Instead of writing in my journal what did go wrong ‘so I can work on that’. I should shift my focus to the things that did go well. This way I create a good feeling that keeps me motivated instead of a feeling of failure, guilt and self-hate.
Instead of saying tomorrow I will start again, I have to accept the fact that it will be hard to work on those bad behaviours, that I will feel uncomfortable. But pushing myself and accomplishing what I wanted to get done, will make me so much happier than giving in to the lazy voice in my head.
To all you beautiful people:
It is good to read self-development books from time to time, to find inspiring things online. However, you won’t always find an answer online, you have to find it in yourself!