In my last post I talked to you about how I realised that the way that I was approaching my goals wasn’t working. Lately I have been experimenting with that and I finally found a way that does work!
I am a big believer in setting goals for yourself and working towards them to get where you want to be. But sometimes you just can’t find the right way to do that. It is so frustrating when you are so motivated to work on your goals but nothing seems to work. Personally I realised that I wasn’t using the right approach a few weeks ago and because of this, things seem to get a little better.
List with Goals
I used to just make a list with all my goals, But I think that it was too overwhelming for me. I am an all or nothing person and a list like that makes me feel like I have to complete everything individually. I am someone who thinks in images, so it is very important to me to be able to vision things.
When I make a list with goals there are so many small things, that I just don’t know where to start. I feel like I haven’t been working hard enough when I am not able to cross out some goals on the list. Some which are so small, they don’t even really matter.
When you want to work on so many goals at the same time, it gets hard to achieve them. You can’t seem to put all your focus to your most important goals, because you want to do everything. Wanting everything at once is definitely something I struggle with and this list with goals wasn’t really helping with that at all.
Creating a Story
Since I was young I have always been acting, I made my own stories and characters and loved going to theatre classes. Acting was always a way for me to become a different person. I realised that I find it very easy to become a different character when it comes to acting, but in real life it’s difficult to change my actions. So I just wrote a story about the person I want to be. Who that ‘Anoek’ is, what kind of person she is, what her interests are, what she finds important in life, the way she behaves etc.
This way I created the person that I want to be and I have a way better vision of that. I can really feel who the person is who I want to be and it is more one whole than all those little pieces on a goal list. One of the things I wrote in the story is that Anoek is a confident and strong woman. When I vision her and ‘become’ her I feel like I am already there. In the beginning it might be a little difficult, because it feels different, but when you get a little better at it, it makes you feel so strong and motivated.
It doesn’t feel like you have to accomplish a couple of goals, it is more that you look through the eyes of the person you want to be and you think what that person would do in certain situations. Everything becomes a lot less overwhelming and it actually becomes fun. You start to feel so strong and you are surprised at what you can do.
When I was younger I didn’t really understand the concept of ‘Fake it till you make it’. I always hated faking and thought that that was what the quote was about. I still hate faking, I just can’t handle people who say or do things they don’t mean. However I do think that when you want to become a certain person or change habits and you believe in what you want to become, it isn’t really faking. It is more stop listening to the ego and listening to what you really want. Acting different feels uncomfortable because the ego wants you to stay in this place because it is easiest and that feels safe. But it is the times that you step out of your comfort zone that you start to grow!