Sometimes I get very confused when it comes to life. I seem to get so lost in my own thoughts that I forget to see what I have achieved already.
A few times this school year I had this girl telling me that she felt like she wasn’t doing anything with her life in comparison to me. When this girl told me that I could not believe her. If there is one person who feels like she is wasting time than it is me. I was shocked and paused for a while. For such a long time now I have been so disappointed in myself. I have so many goals that I want to accomplish, so many things I want to do in a day but I feel like I am only wasting my time. Every day I try and make a list of things I want to do, but for some reason there is this voice inside of me who always wants to take the easy way. He wants to stick to habits that do me no good, like checking my phone, thinking about useless things etc. At the end of the day I reflect on my day and it seems like I did nothing that I truly wanted to do.
When I look back at the ‘me’ from years ago I can only get jealous. I see a hardworking girl, who is creating, living her life and making her dreams come true. Every day I am working so hard to get back to that ‘me’.
It was so weird hearing from another person that she thought that I am doing so many things in my life, when I feel like it really isn’t the case. However, when she told me this I took a deep breath and listened well to what she said. She mentioned things like the blog I run, the designs, drawings and foodcreations I make, going to ballet and musical lessons and more. I listened and realised that I am actually doing quite a few things already.
The afternoon after she told me this I realised that I did a lot more than I normally would when get home. I had a different attitude towards myself and I felt a lot better. From now on I have been writing in my gratitude journal a lot more often. I want to become more aware of the things that I achieved already. At the end of the day I don’t want to look at the things that I didn’t do that day, I want to look at the things I did do and I want to be proud of that. Negative energy will not help you to stick to your goals, that is something I have learned over the last few days. Positivity is something I want to focus on, not only because it helps me to achieve my goals but also because it makes me feel good and confident in general.