Lately I have been saying yes a lot more. There have been a lot of things that got me worrying, but I decided to be brave and just say yes. I am so happy that I did, otherwise I wouldn’t be able to experience all these great things.
Since puberty I started to stay in my comfort zone a lot more. I started to say no to a lot of things, mainly because I got scared to do things or I was just happy with the place that I was in. However, sometimes I have this realisation that I am just not really doing anything with my life. Those moments inspired me to say yes more often. I realised that saying yes doesn’t mean that I can’t say no later. It means that I give things a chance and if I see that it doesn’t fit me I can always say no. I at least tried and experienced it.
So a few months ago I did an audition for a musicalclub where I used to act when I was younger. It was a place where I had so much fun and throughout the years I realised that acting is something that I really miss. It gave me a chance to let go of my emotions and not keep them within my body. When I sent a mail that I wanted to audition, I regretted it right away. All these thoughts went through my head and this voice in my head started to come up with excuses, just to protect me from fear. I almost wanted to send a mail that I made up my mind and didn’t want to do it anymore. When I look back I honestly think that I was crazy. Fortunately there was this little voice that told me to just do it even though I was scared as hell. When I came into the room and I could dance, act and sing again, I felt like the old little me. The girl who could dance, sing and dance without caring what people think. When I stand on a stage to act, dance or sing all my fears are gone, because I just love doing it so much. When I heard that I could be part of the team, I was so happy and now I am so excited to start after the summer.
A few weeks ago I saw a message on Facebook of a photographer who was searching for an assistant. Someone tagged me in the comments and I really wanted to do that. Again there was this voice saying that I am not good enough, that I have other things to do and coming up with even more excuses. However, I paused and listened to my heart. I said yes and before I knew I planned to come and help her during a photo shoot. I had so much fun and learned a ton. A few days later she asked me to come and help for a photoshoot in the studio in Amsterdam. The little voice wanted to start and come up with some excuses, but I put a big piece of paper in her mouth and told her that I was going to Amsterdam, no matter what she was going to say.
Yes, things are going to be a lot busier and I am not sitting at home, in my comfort zone all the time anymore and that is ok. I want to combine days where I experience new things with days where I have all the time for myself. I want to do things that make me happy. Saying yes caused me a lot of stress, but it also made me stronger and showed me the beautiful parts of life, that I would have never found by sitting at my desk at home.
So don’t be afraid to spread your wings! When a storm comes up and it is too hard to fly, you can always come back to the ground. But without spreading your wings you can’t see all the amazing things that this world has to offer!