Sometimes we are so influenced by all the things that happen and are said around us, that we completely forget who we are. For a long time, I didn’t know what to do, listen to the thoughts and do what everybody else said? I was wrong, by listening to my heart I didn’t only made the worries go away, but I also found myself!
As you have probably noticed I haven’t been very active on my blog lately. Don’t get me wrong, I have always written my post with much love and I still do. However, lately I have been working on some projects for schools that I would love to go to next year. When I started working on these creative projects it felt like I had my old self back.
Going to one of these schools has always been a dream, ever since I was a little kid. Walking through the hallways filled with art, stories and creative people, has really done something with me inside. I realised that this is what I have wanted to do all my life. When I was younger I said: ‘I am going there!’. Not knowing that it wouldn’t be as easy as I thought.
But the older I got, the more people started to tell me that it wouldn’t be easy. Not that they didn’t believe in me, but it is just a fact that making it in the creative industry is very hard. The more I heard people say this and the more I read about it, the more I started to believe that I wouldn’t make a chance at all.
Not only that, the older you get the more things are expected from you. They expect that you will spend a lot of time on your homework and work hard on other things. Creativity is most often just seen as a hobby. They tell you that with a creative job you won’t earn a lot of money, or that when you are smart it is better to chose something different. That is what I started to believe, my head was full of thoughts. ‘Should I do what makes me happy?’ ‘But what if I don’t make a chance? What if I can’t make enough money? What if it would be better to chose something different?’
Little old me was screaming at me. ‘Are you joking Anoek, this is the time that you can take the path you have always wanted to take. Maybe you won’t make it the first time, but keep trying. There is time enough to chose something different, if it really turns out bad. But is money really more important than being happy? Creativity is the one thing that makes you happy, which makes you, you! Go for it and you will see!’
When I started to listen to my little voice everything changed. I made the decision to just do it and see what happens. I started working on some creative projects and let my creativity go. I feel like I have locked the real, creative and crazy ideas up in my body, because I was scared that it wasn’t good enough. Now I am back, ready to let those ideas come on to paper, ready to get stuff done!
When working on these projects, I got a magical feeling, the feeling of being me. Being creative, sitting at my desk, working hard, not having time to even go to the toilet, getting excited when having a new idea and singing to music. That is me, the one I lost for way to long. I don’t have all of her back completely, but I working hard every day to be her fully again.
I hope that you all had a beautiful Monday!