A few months ago I was at one of my lowest points in life if I look at my mental state. I was always feeling sad, lost and I got annoyed very easily. But the thing that hurt me the most was my loss of creativity and the feeling of not wanting to do anything at all. All my life creativity has been a big part of my life in so many different ways. I loved acting, writing theater plays, dancing, painting, writing, honestly everything that involves some kind of creativity made me such a happy and bright girl. Being creative is the one thing that keeps me stable, excited and myself.
Throughout the years I have realised that the more stressful and anxious I feel, the more my creativity decreases. That makes me feel even worse and lost. I can’t even explain the feeling of not having creativity in my life. It feels like a part of me is missing, like my soul fled and the only thing I am left with is my body.
Since I have experienced that low point in my life, I have realised that mental health is such an important thing to take care of. This year I have worked hard to make an improvement in my mental health and get my creativity back.
Even though I have been doing creative things this year, that feeling of excitement when having an idea or finishing a project has been lost all that time. A few weeks ago I finally found the little treasure, I finally found the feeling of enjoyment.
In my artclass we got the assignment to make something from paper, called paper art. I have to be honest, when the teacher told me that I wasn’t excited at all. At primary school we only worked with paper, so I thought that this was a boring and easy assignment. However, I decided to make the best of it and a beautiful idea popped in my head. For the first time since a very long time, I actually got excited to spend a lot of time making it exactly how I wanted. So I spent my entire holiday making small roses from tissues and creating the entire paper dress with a paper mache corset . It cost me a lot of time creating this dress, but I honestly loved every second I spent making it.
I am so grateful now that I am feeling better and now my creativity is back. Don’t get me wrong, I am still not where I want to be, I want to keep improving. But when I look back at where I was, I could have never thought that I would be at this point right now.
I hope that you all have something, no matter if it is creativity, a certain hobby or activity, that keeps you happy, excited and alive! Don’t let anyone tell you that it is ‘a waste of time’ or ‘you can’t make money with that!’. As long as it makes you happy and it feels like it is a part of you, keep doing it!